Swimming!

Hogan Here!

I don’t like water!  I am supposed to be a water dog, but I was born with land legs and lead weights.  Wouldn’t you know that it was my trainer who picked up my land legs and walked them into our pool. And I was on top of those legs! Where was I to go?

My Dad was in the pool waiting for me as my trainer held me above the water.  Mom sat far away and looked horrified.  The only water Mom doesn’t have a fear of is from the faucet!  Her fears sure didn’t help me one bit. 

I knew that I had to feel the fear and swim but I kept my head up against every human shoulder that I could find. My heart was beating twice as fast.  My back legs floated lifelessly, my front legs wouldn't bend, and, all the while, I was turning the color of seaweed.

HOPING FOR THE SPCA

Two men came by playing golf.  One looked at me in the pool and then shouted to Mom: “Swimming lessons?”  Mom smiled and nodded her head.  The man, then, said: “For a dog!”  Mom said:  Yes, why not?” 

“For a dog?”  Why did that man think that I was less than a people? The  adrenalin flowed!

I started for the edge of the pool.  I swam and ran up the steps.  Oh, if I could just have eaten that man’s balls!  But, he took his fat self and his clubs and his balls to the green and far away from me. 

But, I learned to swim.  I forgot the fear and found the steps.

WATERLOGGED PRIDE

Now there is only one problem.  I have to be insulted again before its worth another swim. I am not a water dog.  But, I am a great sprinter, a great runner, a great dog, and a great sort-of-people.

Oh, did I leave a word out of this text?  Should I have written golf balls rather than balls?  Oh well.  Balls are balls to a Golden Retriever.  Why should I qualify?  I am Hogan.